I witnessed today a very advanced student in a handstand who got very frustrated at herself. She commented to her teacher that she was disgusted with herself and this never happens to her. First I found it interesting that even someone in such an advanced pose could choose the word ‘disgusted’ and then it reminded me that even those able to do poses or asanas aren’t always practicing yoga.
We balance in yoga for reasons and I love to teach balances poses and remind those that the lessons learned are those we can take into our life as well. You have to fall sometimes to learn to balance and just because you balance one day doesn’t guarantee you that it will happen the next time. Therefore can you be present, right here and now?
This is a beautiful kind of self-love as well that is honoring you for the moment – the asana movement isn’t forced or hard. If you believe in a higher being as well, mine is God, then I choose to believe that God isn’t just watching me – God lives through me and therefore how I act and react is a part of my practice – not only on the mat however in the world. The balancing pose raises emotions and that is wonderful to watch see what happens – it can raise fear, anger and it is important to stop and observe why. Maybe you can learn to laugh at it.
I don’t say this because I’m perfect though. I think that the perception is that those that practice yoga or yoga teachers must be one of perfection – far from that. Even my own sister has commented on the fact that as a yogi, when I have gotten mad at something that I somehow shouldn’t be allowed this reaction by saying ‘how is the yoga working?’ I am not practicing yoga because I”m perfect and because I won’t have feelings – it is because I couldn’t be anyone else. My true self. Always balancing- not too much of any one thing in life and sometimes falling and observing and just starting over to get back to center. Trusting that the answers come from within – from there it is never wrong and I never have to feel disappointed or disgusted.