Yesterday was the 2016 Presidential Election. I was so excited to witness history and the first woman voted as President. I was particularly happy that for many we didn’t just vote for her because she was a woman. I read my own research, compared what each candidate has dedicated their life too and thought others saw past the marketing to see the core of a persons character. But I was wrong. I came home after a long day of working and found myself shocked. I let out a big “WTF!” and my dogs ran and hid under the couch. Then I became silent. I couldn’t talk for hours. Then around 1am I just gave myself permission to stop justifying and get down to the core of what I was feeling. Then the tears came.
This is grief for many. This is what it is and feels like. The shock and disappointment. There have been many comments out there trying to logically discuss what happened, why and how to move past it. Some messages directly to me to say it “isn’t a big deal” or others feel this way too. No doubt, but maybe you are missing how to deal with grief in a healthy way. All the logical words don’t help. All the comparisons or hearing your story may be nice but still doesn’t help. This is just something we have to let ourselves feel and experience. There is a time for healing and if you don’t do it, you bottle it up and hold it for later to explode. There are many layers and emotions involved.
So please stop telling me how to feel or why I should move on. I’ll do so when I am ready and for now I am hurt, sad and mad. I have a right to feel this way. Instead just listen and be silent. (Did you know the same letters are used in listen as in silent?) If you really want to help – just hold that space for me and maybe give me a hug. Nothing else is needed.
Amazingly enough at the Democratic area last night if Hillary had won they had her on a stage built with a glass ceiling. I would say we are still far from breaking past that ceiling and for that I’m sad for ALL women in this country.