This past weekend I traveled to a family gathering to remember my Father-in-law who passed from a long time battle with cancer. Of course that isn't what they call it, but his pneumonia was definitely worse due to his weakened immune system due to cancer. He passed back in March just before many of us were locking down for the pandemic. He had been very sick since last summer and we had spent months seeing this possibly coming but he had over ten years of moments like this and he always found ways to rebound.

My Father-in-law was such a strong but patient man. He the quiet type but you had to pay attention because he was quite funny. He had an amazing light in his eyes that I see in my husband each day. I am so glad to know him and there are some early morning moments he and I shared together while everyone else was asleep that I will never forget. He taught me love not with words but with actions. I always found that I could talk to him easier one on one; like the early morning. Sometimes we didn't have to say anything at all; we just sat and observed the silence together. He loved to clean up the kitchen and make sure that I had warm water for tea; since they were more coffee people. Then we would sit in the sunroom and watch the birds. He was active in biking, gardening and designed many public gardens and bike paths; even the garden at his Church was designed by him and is a perfect place for him to be laid.

There were times in the hospital where he was in so much pain and I could feel his emotions even though I knew he was trying to hide it. I wasn't able to be there for his last hospital visit, as I was dealing with medical issues myself, but my husband had me on the phone for our last conversation together. My husband knew it was coming and he said "you have a way of making him laugh" so he waited till it was late in the night and everyone else had left the room. I could hear it in his voice that he was weak and in pain but we did laugh and I had some jokes ready for him. He knew that I was nervous about my pending surgery and we had loving and kind words to each other.

He ended up going to a nursing care/hospice for a short time and then returned home. He was home with friends and family the night he passed in his sleep in his own bed; I can't think of a better way to pass. In the meantime we have had to wait to figure out a safe way to have his funeral and closure. I think many thought by August we would be able to have more people and closer contact but that isn't the case. After long meetings the decision was made to have the funeral at his gravesite and then a small outdoor gathering at a home only with the immediate family. In my opinion it was perfect. There was a bagpipe player in the background playing ''amazing grace" and we all stood apart in the garden he had designed.

We did a lot of driving for this short trip. There was a lot of road construction as we went through Ohio and Indiana. This added to the drive of course. We did 15 hours there and 13.5 back. I haven't been driving a lot but still by hour 12 I get edgy. We did a lot of car yoga; lots tennis balls, stretching, singing and listening to podcasts. It was strange being in states that clearly support Trump. Large billboards; one had him in the clouds with a halo on-top of his head - I can't undo seeing that! Many cars had large flags and I wondered about the people driving them. I ordered my car stickers but they haven't arrived yet - but I would have liked to represent the other side.

It is good to be home now and feeling lucky for all I have and hope for the future ahead. I am back and teaching lots of online yoga and meditation. Yes here during Labor Day weekend as well. There are workshops as well so be sure to check these out. Workshops require registration but if you go to the main webpage, scroll to the bottom under "appointments" where you can register and pay. I will email the zoom link to those registering 30 min before the workshop.

Hope to see you online and that you will make time for yourself. I know many of us have been busy and yet getting ready for new schedules for work and school. Being online for yoga and self-care is quite different though than your work meetings. I look forward to helping you feel ease and wellness from your home or office. Many come on with their kids and animals. Some invite their family and friends and get to experience community online together.

In the meantime stay safe. Have a good day for no reason!

---Paige